Why the Toilet Seat Dilemma Shouldn’t Matter

            My question about the toilet seat issue: why is it even an issue? Whenever a girl goes to the bathroom and is greeted by a raised toilet seat, thanks to the dude who peed ten minutes before, all hell breaks loose. The “ugh” that comes out of the girls mouth is so loud and exaggerated. The eye roll is so big that you can see only the whites of her eyes. The slouched shoulder to insinuate that she’s pissed that she has to put the seat back down so she can tinkle is unnecessary. So my question to the girls: is the toilet seat being left up when you go to pee really that big of a deal? While there are a few cons to leaving the seat up, there are actually (pause for dramatic effect) pros to this as well. Hate me all you want, but here goes nothing…

Con: Oopsie, I Fell

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night to pee? Too tired to realize the seat is actually up, thanks to the lazy-ass man who peed before? Hear that “plop” sound, with water now on your toes? Yeah, that’s you. You fell into the toilet. Fell. In. It’s possible, I swear. And you have the dude to thank for that. The dude who didn’t put the seat back down after doing his business. If you weren’t awake two minutes ago, you sure as hell are as alert as a deer in headlights now. A quick night pee turns into a whole cleaning process before you can even get back into bed. And if you do not shower after this…No. Words.  

Pro: Obstacles

What’s worse: going into the bathroom to see the toilet seat up or…going into the bathroom with the toilet seat down and Man’s pee all over it? Obviously the latter. Obviously. If you would rather clean pee off the seat then flick the seat down from the up position, I am seriously concerned for your well-being. I live with enough boys to know that I have actually gone to a different bathroom rather than do either of those choices, but when I cannot wait any longer, the seat being left up is a much better obstacle than the pee on the down seat.

Con: Germy Germy Germy

I’m being honest with you guys because I feel like we are at that level. I actually had trouble thinking of more cons. Seriously. This should not be an issue at all! But if you are a Germaphobe, I can see why you squirm (pun intended) at the thought of having to touch the seat to put it down. You see the seat up and instantly, your palms get wet and agitated as you reach to touch that germ-infested seat. You feel the bead of sweat drip down your forehead as you think of all the diseases you can contract from the simple seat flicking motion. Sucks to be you, but it isn’t the end of the world. Go to another bathroom! Problem solved.

Pro: He Cares

I know this is a weird one. But think about it. The fact that you walk in to the bathroom and the seat is up is actually a good thing! The boy in your house, may it be your brother, your boyfriend, or any other guy, actually cared enough to “take a leak” with the seat up. He could have left it down and made a mess that would clearly be up to you to clean. If the seat was down with pee on it, the men wouldn’t care. They would leave it as is for you to wipe, Lysol, and so on before you can “tinkle.” Seat up = he cares.

The issue of the toilet seat being up when a girl goes to use the loo has been an ongoing problem for years. Personally, I do not understand why. There are so many more fights to pick with the men in the house than the fact that they do not put the seat down in the bathroom. You can solve this five-second problem on your own instead of finding the guilty man and yelling at him for the rest of the day. Please pick a better fight with him. Like the fact that he wore the same dirty shirt six days in a row. Or that he went to the gym four hours ago and he still hasn’t showered. Priorities, women, priorities!